Went to Duffy's with S- last night, we hung out for a about an hour, and about 1/2 way through a bar friend of hers showed up & started chatting with us. He's a nice guy, about to turn 42, and I was enjoying talking with him, so after S- left I opted to stay and keep hanging out. The conversation (inevitably) turned to music; we had a lot in common and I was even able to play "Name That Obscure Erasure Song" with him... I won, of course; the answer was Hallowed Ground. He was pretty drunk, plenty of hiccups, tried to pay for my beer after I'd already paid, and was unsuccessful at holding a door open for me. (This makes him sound really drunk, but he was still able to hold up a conversation, etc, I wouldn't say completely plastered by any means.) While we were outside for a smoke he started touching my hair, and gave me a hug, which was very sweet and flattering (despite the fact that he was drunk); when I left, while hugging me, he kissed me on the neck.
I have to say that even though I don't know/doubt if I would want anything with him beyond friendship, I really needed that. It's been so long (years!) since I've had any sort of affectionate contact with someone other than J-, and even though I was hit on by that butch at the Maltese, there wan't any build up - no real conversation or anything. It felt a bit like an awkward date, which was nice in its own way.
I'd like to say that I really like him, that I'd like to date him, but I don't want to fool myself into thinking that having a lot (& I mean a lot) of music in common and him digging me while he's inebriated needs to lead into affection on my part.
I'm not going to deny that I like being liked, but I don't want to a) fool myself into thinking I have feelings that aren't there; b) lead him on for the sake of having someone showing me affection; c) do what I'm doing now, which is making a big deal out of something very very small.
But again, whatever it was & whatever it is, I really needed that.
