I'm not doing well - or i had a bad couple of days.

I've been eating a lot at night, and last night a kinda freaked out and had a relapse into binging and vomiting.  The weather's been awful: cold & wet, I'm pretty sure J- dating someone (based solely on the fact that he was making out with someone at the dance & he hasn't called), and things have been frustrating at work.

I NEED TO PICK MYSELF UP AND GET OUT OF THIS.

I can't just wait for my mood to magically get better; that's not how life works.  I have to create my own happiness, create my own stability.

After I threw up I drank a bunch of tea and took half a Xanax.  It didn't knock me out/calm me down the way I'd hoped, but I slept for around 10 hours, which was much needed.

Today I will find a balance between being productive and enjoying myself.