I feel myself slipping into some really awful destructive state. I'm not being nice, I'm losing my patience faster, and making worse (though not entirely bad) food choices.
I woke up at 3am yesterday and did not fall back asleep. I took the time to get some stuff done around the house, and did some yoga (hip openers). I had a terrible day at work and even though I was home by 4, i didn't take the kids out. I knew I wasn't in a good emotional state to deal with pulling on leash or lunging after cats.
I do want to think that this is more about my cycle that about slipping into real depression again, but it seems a bit early for that.
I went out list night on a mission to buy cigarettes, popcorn & nutritional yeast, then - fortunately - changed my mind and turned around, opting only for cigarettes. That was a GOOD CHOICE. I'm glad for that last minute change of heart. I think I would have ended up throwing it up, any way, and that's one habit I really don't want to fall back into.
I went to bed just after 8 and woke up just before 6. Plenty of sleep.
I want to make today a better day.
I want to make the next day even better than that.
I'm gonna take the kids out for a nice long walk/jog/whatever this morning.
I'm gonna remember to breathe.
