2.2mi loop with the kids, in the new shoes, with some jogging thrown in.  Broke a sweat, pink in the face when I got in.

I'm angry, no doubt about that.  I'm not 100% sure what I'm most upset about, it might just be that my pride is hurt more than anything, lord knows I've had plenty of moments when I thought it just wasn't worth it anymore, but that he was the one who called it off (again).
The best analogy I can think of is that being with J- is like smoking.  I'm addicted, it feels good because I'm addicted, I do it out of habit, and it's a bad idea long term 9and a bad idea short term, too!).  But it was that he decided it (I'm) not worth it anymore, though when I think about it it's not that he's not worth it, but it becomes about me when I'm not the one in control.
This all sounds really mature, but that's not the whole picture of my feelings.
I've been doing a lot of crying lately.